Good question. A failure is somewhat a matter of opinion - mostly your opinion but also may depend on the crap that others deal to you because they think that they have the ability or power to control you.
Those others may control your job, your income or if you are in the Mafia or a Cartel then they may have a much greater control over you, but at the end of the day, no one can ever make anyone do something that that person does not willingly or unwilling choose to do themselves. They may tell you you have failed, but that is not necessarily true. You are only a failure in their opinion, their eyes. You do not have to be a failure in your own opinion.
Even more so, others like your children, wife/husband/parents may exert a good deal of control over you through fear of losing what you have already invested in time and perhaps also money. There are words for this kind of thing. Extortion, blackmail, hedging, calling your bluff and many more I am sure - depends a bit on the extent of the collateral damage.
You must pass life's tests. That is not an option. But the challenges you put in front of yourself of your own volition are a little different. Life did not necessarily chose this course of action for you, you did - and it may have been inspired from some prior or current event or mistake but life did not put that test in front of you to pass - you did.
Life's tests are most often based on really simple mushy stuff (simple - Yeah Right!) like emotional responses, attitude, compassion, frugality, manliness, womanliness, motherhood, fatherhood, parenting, self control, calmness, deep thought,spirituality. Wow, I could go on for a long time here but I won't. The life tests are real easy stuff that anyone can handle like a piece of cake - NOT.
You don't need a lot of life skill to know that if you put your finger or hand into a flame, it will be hot and if there is no light, it will be dark. Life's tests are not about simple binary stuff that a baby perhaps learns within a few days. No, don't put your babies hand under a candle to prove it - LOL.
The only time I would consider myself to have failed is if I had QUIT on one of life's tests. Not "not passed - as in willing to take the test again" but quit. Quit means that I have totally and resolutely given up on the whole damn thing. Then I have failed. However as resolute as I might be, life won't let me do that. All I am doing is quitting on myself and life will regurgitate the same test again.
If I was to quit on a relationship, a business venture, a job or any other such thing that I created or obtained of my own volition, then there is leeway. I would balk at the idea of quitting on a person unless that person proved unworthy of my effort. (see Trust a bit later on).
I see failure like this. We all go off on tangents at some stage in our lives. We pursue dreams and goals, activities and relationships and now and then, while we are mid stream the red flag gets waved. Time to re-think. Is this worth my effort? What in reality am I going to benefit from this? Is anyone going to benefit from what I am doing that will actually make a difference to them?
There will always be times when the result is not worth the effort like - A great idea but I don't seem to be able to get it to work. I started this then found something else better. It just takes too much of my valuable time and so on. Its hurting my relationship (kids maybe). This is costing me a fortune...
I often quit on those sorts of things. I do not get upset or admonish myself for this. I even thought about tossing this blog aside because the Google interface would not/could not do what I wanted - but I am still here. Many times a person just has to try something and analyse the result. The value of any venture comes from the results, not (as valuable as it is) the feedback.
When you set a goal in concrete be very sure it is exactly (the overall goal, not the details) what you want. If you quit on too many goals, you will run yourself down and fail to set new ones in the future. Millions of people have done this and will continue to do this. Don't be one of the millions, be yourself and be proud of who and what you are.
Remember: The latest blog is at the top. To get some historical background, scroll down a bit. Feel free to comment.
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